I will say of the Lord, HE is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Psalm 91:2
Last week I gave assignments to every married couple and single person. For married couples, I was wanted each couple to move towards a healthier Godly relationship. Since sin is partially defined as lack of trust, we try to not be manipulative in our relationships. It is a tough stance to take. I trust God so I am going to work toward honest communication, Christ like listening, valuing personalized friendship time.
Many times we like to trust ourselves over God and use manipulation in our relationships. In the T.V. sitcom Modern Family, the character of Phil Dumphey is completely intimidated by his “take charge” wife. In one instance, he tells his son that he is in trouble and his mom wants to talk to him. Thinking he is helping, he tells his son that fake tears can really help if he is in trouble. Offering further assistance he asks his son, “Do you want me to spray water on your eyes?" The son Luke says, “Dad, please I have been able to fake cry since I was five years old – how do you think I have gone my whole life without having to eat salad?” The wife surprises the pair by announcing she wants to talk to the Phil, not her son Luke. Before Phil leaves he asks his son for his secrets to faking tears. His son gravely says, “All the three stooges are dead” and his father starts weeping on the spot.
For all of us manipulation is often just a part of our lives. But how can we move deeper – be more honest and build on solid ground in our relationships? As Jackie and I were driving home together after Saturday night service she said, “So you gave as an assignment to ask your spouse what you do that might be manipulative in your relationship.” I said, “Yes.” Jackie asked, “What do I do to manipulate you in our relationship?” I thought about it a couple of minutes and replied, “I can’t think of anything. I think you are very straight forward, honest in our relationship and that allows us to have more trust.” Jackie said, “Good.” There was a long pause and then I asked hesitantly, “What do I do that is manipulative in our relationship?” Jackie replied with such joy, “I’m glad you asked.”
Later I was telling Pastor Rex about it and he jokingly said he was glad that he and Christalle driven home in separate cars after the sermon. We all have a lot of room to grow in the honesty, trust enabling relationships that God wants us to have in our lives. The kind of trust we strive for and need really comes by trusting God so we can risk opening imperfect relationships to the amazing blessed growth that God has planned for us.
Your friend for the rest of my life,
Pastor Tim White
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYl1miqX81Y
There is a joy in helping people and friendships run deeper when you share challenges. It has been our practice to have a pastor wait with the family as their loved one is going through a bypass, or transplant etc. It is also our policy that no one in the area dies alone. We wait with patients who will never go to our church just because it can be so helpful to sit with them, pray with them, and even sing to them (yes I have even been known to sing in such situations - although some request that I don’t). Every once in a while some one says, "I bet you don’t do this for everyone." I reply simply, "Yes, we pretty much do. Even people that don’t go to the church."
In Psalm 25, God's guidance is shown in so many ways. It comes up 8 times:
Every week I look forward to my time of worship with people who love Jesus. Worshipping with other believers is a powerful soul builder. Especially, if we can leave ourselves at the doorstep and focus on worshipping God.
Since becoming a father 11 years ago, not a single day has passed where I haven’t asked God to protect my kids and our family. Sometimes it’s a quick simple prayer, other times, I find some solitude and spend time asking God to protect my family in very specific ways.
A couple years back, I read a fascinating book by Dr. Henry Cloud called, Changes That Heal. In it, he speaks to the notion that one cannot be a healthy person without the presence of both Truth and Grace. He states that without truth and grace being lived out on a daily basis a person cannot be emotionally healthy.
This morning I woke up early. After I let my dog out, and I was surprised to see my grandson, Elijah, sitting reading on the chair in the family room. I asked, “Elijah what time did you wake up? He replied, “Oh, about 7:30.” “It’s not about 7:30 yet,” I chuckled looking at the clock. He shrugged, “I don't know… All I know is when I tried to wake up my mom and dad they said they were still sleeping.”