A Mutual Sacrifice

By Pastor Rex Hamilton Meaning in marriage is not found by pursuing happiness or self-fulfillment. Meaning in marriage is discovered by practicing self-sacrifice. …How does this play out in daily life? In much the same way it happens for an athlete. If a team wants to win a championship, every player must sacrifice daily by training and following the coach’s instructions.

I have numerous opportunities every day to give up what I want to do and instead serve my wife. In this way, I glorify God because my sacrifice is a reflection of His heart and how He loves His bride. I’ve finally realized that my marriage is satisfying to the degree that I daily sacrifice myself for my wife’s good.

What does that mean?

• It means biting my tongue when I’d rather defend myself against something she said.
• It means getting up in the middle of the night when a child cries rather than pretending I don’t hear anything.
• It means putting down my book or the remote and really listening when she wants to talk.
• It means taking over some chores when she’s got a hectic day.
• It means cleaning the kitchen Sunday evening rather than leaving the mess for her to face on Monday morning.

One of the original purposes of marriage as God intended it in the Garden of Eden was to reflect His image. That means marriage is about something bigger than the two of us. Marriage is one of God’s primary means of speaking to the world, and the world takes notice when a man truly loves His wife the way Christ loves His church.

An athlete doesn’t enjoy the pain of serious training. But he trains for the future reward of winning. This is the challenge for marriage-to sacrifice my momentary definition of happiness for the long-term good of my spouse, thus reflecting God’s heart and earning His praise, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Marriage becomes a masterpiece when we choose to surrender our selfishness and give ourselves to our spouse!

I wish I could say we succeed in always loving each other sacrificially. Of course, we fail often, but one consolation is that we’re in the game. Every athlete knows he can’t be a hero unless he’s actually playing in the game. My wife and I have new opportunities to demonstrate sacrificial love, and when we fail our covenant reminds us that the next day we have a chance to try again to get it right.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abzJ1EyfBgo

Trusting God can Open Doors in your Relationship

I will say of the Lord, HE is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Psalm 91:2

Last week I gave assignments to every married couple and single person. For married couples, I was wanted each couple to move towards a healthier Godly relationship. Since sin is partially defined as lack of trust, we try to not be manipulative in our relationships. It is a tough stance to take. I trust God so I am going to work toward honest communication, Christ like listening, valuing personalized friendship time.

Many times we like to trust ourselves over God and use manipulation in our relationships. In the T.V. sitcom Modern Family, the character of Phil Dumphey is completely intimidated by his “take charge” wife. In one instance, he tells his son that he is in trouble and his mom wants to talk to him. Thinking he is helping, he tells his son that fake tears can really help if he is in trouble. Offering further assistance he asks his son, “Do you want me to spray water on your eyes?" The son Luke says, “Dad, please I have been able to fake cry since I was five years old – how do you think I have gone my whole life without having to eat salad?” The wife surprises the pair by announcing she wants to talk to the Phil, not her son Luke. Before Phil leaves he asks his son for his secrets to faking tears. His son gravely says, “All the three stooges are dead” and his father starts weeping on the spot.

For all of us manipulation is often just a part of our lives. But how can we move deeper – be more honest and build on solid ground in our relationships? As Jackie and I were driving home together after Saturday night service she said, “So you gave as an assignment to ask your spouse what you do that might be manipulative in your relationship.” I said, “Yes.” Jackie asked, “What do I do to manipulate you in our relationship?” I thought about it a couple of minutes and replied, “I can’t think of anything. I think you are very straight forward, honest in our relationship and that allows us to have more trust.” Jackie said, “Good.” There was a long pause and then I asked hesitantly, “What do I do that is manipulative in our relationship?” Jackie replied with such joy, “I’m glad you asked.”

Later I was telling Pastor Rex about it and he jokingly said he was glad that he and Christalle driven home in separate cars after the sermon. We all have a lot of room to grow in the honesty, trust enabling relationships that God wants us to have in our lives. The kind of trust we strive for and need really comes by trusting God so we can risk opening imperfect relationships to the amazing blessed growth that God has planned for us.

Your friend for the rest of my life,

Pastor Tim White

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYl1miqX81Y

Everyone Needs a Pastor

Jesus said, I am the good shepherd, the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.He who is a hired hand and does not love the sheep when he sees the wolf come – he flees.  But the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  John 10:11-12

This week, Josh and I sat with a wonderful family at Swedish hospital as their father/brother/husband went through a quadruple bypass.  The night before, our Middle School pastor, Josh Zappone, texted me and asked if he could join me learn about pastoral care.  He is also a friend of the son-in-law of this dynamic member of our church and work together in the Student Ministry.

I told him to meet me at my house at 5:00 am.  He asked what should he wear to the hospital. I replied, "Wear slacks, a dress shirt, and a sports jacket." However, when I replied I sent the text to Debbie Walter instead of Josh – it must have been around 10:00pm at the time.  She texted back, "I think this message was intended for someone else."  Jackie had a good laugh.  When Josh arrived at my house the next morning his first words were: "Man, this is early."  Thinking about many other early mornings, I responded, "Yeah, it's just like going fishing."

There is a joy in helping people and friendships run deeper when you share challenges.  It has been our practice to have a pastor wait with the family as their loved one is going through a bypass, or transplant etc.  It is also our policy that no one in the area dies alone.  We wait with patients who will never go to our church just because it can be so helpful to sit with them, pray with them, and even sing to them (yes I have even been known to sing in such situations - although some request that I don’t).  Every once in a while some one says, "I bet you don’t do this for everyone."  I reply simply, "Yes, we pretty much do.  Even people that don’t go to the church."

While church growth experts will tell you this is kind of hands-on pastoral care is quickly disappearing from growing churches, we hold this as a high ideal.  My dad did as well for 58 years of ministry.  My grandfather for 55 years.  As they taught me the ministry, it was non negotiable because everyone needs a pastor.  Church can be a show on Sunday mornings where no one gets to know each other.  They keep a distance, which is becoming so prominent in our digital age.  Their kids never get to know the pastor as friend of the family. People go through divorce, job loss, pressures of success, weddings and funerals, crisis and death alone.

When I go door-to-door inviting people to church, some people will say they used to be a churched person but they were so turned off.  "Why should I get or stay involved in your church – you are obviously not perfect."  I always respond, "Because at some point everyone needs a pastor."

It was just a couple of weeks ago that I was intensive care.  Someone advised me to keep it a secret that I had a life threatening Pulmonary embolism.  I counter, "No, I need as many people praying as possible."  When my daughter Becca came to be my pastor, I told her I didn’t need a pastor I knew almost everyone at this hospital – I felt like they were all friends. And I am not afraid to die.  My daughter scolded me, "Dad everyone needs a pastor."  She took my hand and prayed for me and I had to agree.

Pastor David visited not long after and he also grabbed my hand for a prayer.  Pastor Linda read me a scripture and led Jackie and I in prayer.  You know what, Becca was right everyone needs a pastor.  Every doctor, every nurse, every pastor and every executive, children and grandparents.  All of us. I think I am a living, walking, talking miracle.  Yes, I have great doctors that saved my life and the nurses were exceptional.  But I would not wanted to go through what I went through without the calming, loving, healing, restoring, unifying power of prayer by friends from many churches.  Thank you if you were one of the people praying for me.  Let's continue being a church that believes that everyone needs a pastor sometimes.

Your friend for the rest of my life,

Pastor Tim White

Photo Credit

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VSrWRXV5_Q

Feeding Our Marriage The Good Stuff

Last weekend, we launched our new marriage series called, “I Do”. Specifically, I taught on the subject of equality and what that looks like in a healthy marriage. For a quick review (and I invite you to watch online if you missed it), here were the major points.

Equality in marriage looks like:

1. Teamwork
2. Individuality
3. Humility

Towards the end of the message, I mentioned I would be providing various online resources that you might find helpful in building a stronger marriage. After all...marriage is hard work. Sometimes it does feel like building, rather than some supernatural, romantic evolution of two people becoming one.

Here’s my first resource. It’s an amazing (and local) blog called, “Stay Married”. Founded by a Bothell couple, whose approach to encouraging healthy marriages is fun, creative and HONEST!

Make sure to check them out at http://staymarriedblog.com/

In the meantime, here is a fun picture they posted on their Facebook page that I found both intriguing and challenging.

Grace and Peace! Pastor Rex

Photo Credit

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSVYeMgqeHY

Show me your ways

Written by Pastor Ben McCary The psalms are as beautiful as they are diverse, and one of the most powerful lessons we can learn from them is the importance of God's forgiveness.  There are so many times in our lives that we fall short of our goals or God's standards for us; Psalm 25 is one example of how to grow in the midst of it. The Bible is God's word to humanity, his hand book for how we're supposed to live, so you'd think it would be full of stories of people asking God for guidance.  But, believe it or not, that's just not the case.  The Bible is riddled with stories of God offering guidance, but very rarely do people ask for it. However, Psalm 25 is one example of someone asking for God's guidance.

In Psalm 25, God's guidance is shown in so many ways. It comes up 8 times:

• "Show me your ways, O Lord”
• “Teach me your paths”
• “Guide me”
• “He guides the humble”
• “He teaches them”
• “He will instruct him in the way”
• “The Lord confides in those who fear him”
• “He makes his covenant known to them”

The Psalm also shows all the blessings that God gives for those who humbly accept God's teaching:

• "They will never be put to shame" (v. 3)
• "He guides them" (v. 9)
• "They will have prosperity" (v.13)
• "His descendants will inherit the land" (v.13)
• "He will confide in them" (v.14)

So if this is so common in Psalm 25, why would it not be common in the rest of scripture? The answer becomes more clear when we look at the life and ministry of Jesus Christ.  When people come to Jesus and call him teacher, more often than not they go away with a harsh lesson. Just look at this example:

Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.” He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah” (Matt 12.38-39). So often we come to God asking him to show us his paths, but we forget to leave behind the “sins of our youth.”

This Psalmist reminds us that we need to give up those old sins and come to get ready to change.  It's only the humble who God is able to teach.

So how can you change? How does God want you to be humble? And how do you think God is going to bless you when you come to him with an open heart.

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A seed of love

Written by Pastor Linda Skinner 

To think of God rightly, as He is, one cannot help but lapse into worship; and worship is the single most powerful force in completing and sustaining the spiritual formation of the whole person. Worship naturally arises from thinking rightly of God on the basis of revealed truth confirmed in experience. We say flatly, "Worship is at once the overall character of the renovated thought life and the only safe place for any human being to stand." Dallas Willard from article “Transformation of the Mind”.

My mom was no Dallas Willard, but she had a deep sense of what was important in life. As a child she planted within me a deep love for Christ and, therefore, a love for the church (His bride).

The church was the center of my experience of worship. Not that worship didn’t happen every day of the week. Every morning we worshiped at the breakfast table as we prayed, read God’s Word and shared together. All through the day my mom hummed or sang hymns, while she went through her day – cleaning thousands of eggs getting them ready to go to market, driving them to market, doing her shopping, cleaning the house. Every activity was an act of worship, but she always reminded me that her daily worship came from connecting in corporate worship every week.

I am so thankful for those seeds planted by my mom. There was never anything that would replace our weekly trek to church. Even when mom was sick, which wasn’t very often, she’d make sure I had a ride to church with one of our neighbors. Because of those seeds, I’m compelled to be at weekly worship and I believe fully what Dallas Willard wrote when he penned these words -- “worship is the single most powerful force in completing and sustaining the spiritual formation of the whole person.”

Over the years, when Rich and I have been on our travels, we have experienced so many different forms of churches and worship. Whether it was the Greek Orthodox section of Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem, the Vineyard church outside of Vancouver, BC, the Roman Catholic Cathedral in Zagreb, Croatia, the Protestant American Cathedral in Paris, or the little non-denominational church in a movie theater in Florianopolis, Brazil all had one thing in common – they came together to honor and worship Jesus in a their own way.

We didn’t even need to know the language, you could feel the Holy Spirit at work. You could see on the faces of the people a love for Christ and a love for one another.

Every week I look forward to my time of worship with people who love Jesus. Worshipping with other believers is a powerful soul builder. Especially, if we can leave ourselves at the doorstep and focus on worshipping God.

Doesn’t matter the style of worship, the surroundings that we worship in or even the language that is spoken. What matters is where our hearts are. I think it was what the writer of Hebrews was referring to when he wrote “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25

I pray that this may plant a seed in you. A seed of love for Christ’s Body (the Church) and a love and passion for worshipping in it with other believers.

Photo Credit

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ15c_dXk00

Come stand beneath my wings

Written by Fiona Monaghan

This I declare, that he alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him. For he rescues you from every trap and protects you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings! They will shelter you. His faithful promises are your armor. Now you don’t need to be afraid of the dark anymore, nor fear the dangers of the day; nor dread the plagues of darkness, nor disasters in the morning.            Psalm 91:2-6

“Come to me” I hear You say, “come stand beneath my wings the storms of life may come your way but I’m with you whatever it brings.

I will protect and cover you in times of pain or fear. You are my precious little child, I long to hold you near.

But trust you must, and put yourself, into my loving care it is your choice to come to me I will not force you there.

And when the storm has passed along you’ll find my love is true I stood and bore the storm for you and my wings, they covered you.”

A hen when she senses danger will stand with her wings raised up and her chicks have to run to her for protection, she won’t chase after them. She stands still and they then run under her wings for the protection that they need. That was my inspiration for this poem.

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God Our Rescue

Written by Pastor Rex Hamilton Since becoming a father 11 years ago, not a single day has passed where I haven’t asked God to protect my kids and our family. Sometimes it’s a quick simple prayer, other times, I find some solitude and spend time asking God to protect my family in very specific ways.

These have always been some of my most confident prayers because I know based on Psalm 91 that it’s God’s nature to protect and rescue his people. But...I’m not naive to think bad things can’t, or won’t happen. We live in a very broken world...

Here’s a little faith exercise to put into practice this week:

Spend a few minutes every day by reading Psalm 91 and then write out specific areas of your life that you need God to either protect or rescue. The point? Wait and watch God come through on His promises! Sounds so simple, right? But how easily we can get off track and forget who God says He is, and just how much He desires our complete dependence upon Him.

He’s a good, good Father who loves us deeply and wants to show Himself to us through His word.

Photo Credit

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw1KfjmnRQ4

A Rod, Staff and Oil…

Written by Fiona Monaghan A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Philip Keller was an eye opener for me. Many of us know the Psalm that starts “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want…” and there are references made throughout the Psalm to physical things like rod, staff and oil. Mr. Keller explains how a shepherd would actually use these tools in his vocation and what it means to us.

The Rod was a weapon made from a sapling specially chosen and whittled down to suit the shepherd. The root was used and shaped to fit the shepherd hand. He would use this in a couple of ways. If a sheep was wandering off, as they are prone to do, he would throw down the rod to startle the sheep back to the group. It was used to check the condition of the fleece. Checking the skin by parting the fleece with the rod looking for sores, ticks etc. It was the ultimate protection tool used as a deterrent for predators and beating the bush for snakes etc.

Whereas the rod was protection, the Staff was considered a tool of help or compassion; not for defense, but for rescue. If a newborn lamb got separated from its mother, the shepherd would use the staff to lift it back into proximity of the mother and not put his human scent on it. If he needed to draw an animal back into the fold he could reach out and pull them closer; used to rescue a wayward animal if it got caught in thickets or brambles. Also a means of support for him to lean on and assist his walking and used for guiding sheep on a new path.

The Oil referenced was a healer. It was put on sores or scrapes to prevent infection. Flies would bother the sheep and want to lay eggs in their nose, so the shepherd would put a coating of oil mixture to prevent this. A distraught sheep having to deal with these flies would disrupt a flock so it was very important to treat them by anointing with oil.

It was no mistake that we as a people were referenced as ‘sheep’ and Jesus our Shepherd. Sheep are not the smartest of animals. They tend to follow rather than lead. They are totally defenseless in the proximity of an enemy so need a Shepherd to protect them.

How often have we needed the Oil of healing in His words at a difficult time, or the Rod of correction if we are heading off in a wrong direction or the Staff of comfort when needing to know we are not alone.

Read Psalm 23 with the meanings of these words made clearer. See how this might be useful in your own life.

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